Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Launching our Souls.

Tonight we launch our website, Patchwork Veracity, into the world.  I'm excited, because I think it's something that has benefits for every artist out there. I'm nervous, because of the money.  Nervous because even though I know how many hours of sweat went into each and every letter and image, I know that people want everything to be free.  Nervous that other people won't appreciate it.  Nervous that it will fail.

Isn't that the root of all our big fears?  Failure?

I guess I could say that if it weren't for the other things happening around my life right now.

I say around, because this thing is not happening to me or my family, but to another radically unschooling family I have had the privilege of getting to know in the last two years.

The Fisher family recently suffered the tragic loss of their little boy, Elijah Rainbow.

The loss of a baby just...  it chills me to the bone.  It sends shivers all down my spine.  It is a thing I cannot fathom.

Not just losing a baby... but losing a child.

This is the second of such losses that has touched me this year.

Brogan, a young boy who was a part of our local church family, passed away earlier this year: cancer.

There is nothing like the loss of a child to change your perspective on everything.

To send you reeling on a guilt trip about how much time you've spent in the last two days staring hard at the computer screen trying to sell something that you're scared no one will want to buy.  How do you ever know?  How can you ever predict the things that can happen in this world?

I feel this trepidation about launching my website out into the world - but the fact is, if it flops... if it's a huge tremendous, laughable failure, my soul is still intact.  Still here.  Still with this earthly family...  And those little boys' souls...  they've launched in an entirely other way.

Dear, Sweet, Brogan and Elijah, may  your days and nights be filled with unfathomable joy and peace and endless...ENDLESS play and undivided attention from The One who has the energy to ALWAYS give.

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