Monday, November 4, 2013

Not Going Crazy

We moved from Boonesboro on the weekend because the campground was filled, and switched to a little place in Danville, KY.  It was super laid back.  The lady at the office said, "Oh, just come by and if there's a spot pull right in."  There were spots aplenty - we had our choice of all but two spots in the place.  Full hook-ups.  Cheap price.  Our standards are lowering in their way.  We really don't need a bunch of campground amenities.  We're just looking for a parking place with hook-ups.  Or without... if the price is right. 

About once every two weeks I realize that I need some time to myself.  Sometimes I don't realize until I'm sort of losing it.  Sometimes I realize before that, and things are better.  It's not easy for me to ask for something like that.  I always leave feeling a little bit guilty.  But I am learning that I am a way better mom, wife, friend, and person if I just do what I need to do when I need to do it.  So as we pulled into the campsite and I parked the car, I turned on some Matt Nathanson and put my feet up on the dash while Michael pulled the bus around to the dumpsite and took care of business.  It was only a few minutes of time, but it was so necessary.

After we got the bus into place, I rolled down Sally's windows and turned up the music to do a little ballet - right there in the middle of the campground.  I went through a few sets at the "barre" and did a little diagonal work.  Jonah joined me for a bit of ballet as well.  Then Maeryn wanted to teach me her own dance.  By this time I could handle it.  I'd had some time, some physical activity, I was ready to be Mom again. 

It is much more difficult in the bus to get time that you might need to relax, to have quiet, to just be yourself in your own skin and breathing.  Sometimes I have to just go and just do it.  I think this is hard for many people - especially women - we feel responsible for everybody's feelings and forget about our own sometimes.

Thank God for stolen moments and car keys and CDs and plies in jeans and in public.

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