Decisions, Decisions, Decisions.

Our family is thinking about buying a new car.

This may be an extremely foolish decision, considering we aren't exactly rolling in dough, and we are really truly hoping to still get the heck out of here, but our kids are SO darned busy it seems like something that might need to happen.

We are balancing a ton of things here.  We know that when we "find our spot" we will likely need to be a two car family.  We are not looking to live somewhere that never drops below freezing.  We like snow and sledding and ice skating too much for that nonsense, so though we'd like to cycle most places as much as we can, we currently have a four year old who we don't feel safe taking out on the big road and like the rest of us, she is one busy lady.

We decided that if we were going to buy something, it would have to be four wheel drive (all the spots we love are snowy!) and it needed to be under $1500.  We don't want to have a payment.  If we can't save up and drop cash on it, then forget it.  Debt sucks.  And we'd like a Jeep Cherokee.

So.

The day after we decided all of this, we saw a Jeep Cherokee for $1000 sitting outside our friends' apartment complex.  A sign?  Or a need for self control? 


Mini-Goals:

1.  Mail Spring ARGH payment
2.  Make it to all activities on time
3.  Do something fun and relaxing as a family this evening.

Square One.

We have a bus with bedrooms, a stove, a fridge, a toilet, and an awesome paint scheme.

We have our campground all picked out to wait out the next few months.

The bank accepted the buyer's offer on the house.

We are working toward financial independence apart from "the system".

But...



The bank will not be accepting our hardship.  Which means that...  we're back to square one.

Our house is not sold.  The bus is still parked at a friend's house (who will be selling soon, and we'll have to find another parking space).  We don't have a job...

I don't understand.

Why?

I don't...

Ugh.

I'm so frustrated.

I've been trying to get myself together for leaving.

I've quit everything.  Theatre, teaching, worship band...  We've been packing.  We've been selling stuff.  We've told everyone that we're going to leave and everyone keeps asking about our departure date and the fact is?  There isn't one.  There isn't one.

We want to leave.  We want to leave more than anything and we can't.  leave.

People say that there's no such thing as being trapped.  Really?  There isn't?  Then why aren't we in Maine right now fishing for lobster?  Why is my husband's job telling him he can't work from the road?  Why does he keep getting rejected by every other employer to which he applies?

Why have I been preparing my kids to leave their friends and activities if we aren't even leaving?

And what do I do?

How do I maintain this state of limbo?  How?

I drive the kids to swimming lessons and dance lessons and gymnastics and scouts and I try to make our home still feel like home even though things are packed in boxes and the bus feels a zillion times more like home than this townhouse that feels like a cage to me.

Do I sign them up for lessons in the fall?  Do we take Jonah to swim team try-outs and do all those things?  Maeryn wants to try preschool.  And sign-ups are right. now.  So what the heck do I do about that?

And about plans?  People asking when we'll leave and where we'll be and when we'll see them and everything just keeps getting pushed back...

I want to throw up my hands and say "forget it."  Let's just go back to being normal people with normal lives and pretend this bus thing never happened.

I feel like an imposter.  

My cast from the last show I directed got us a national parks membership pass for all the parks in the U.S.  For our trip.  There are three people planning going away parties.  For our trip.

And we're stuck at square one.

I thought God said "Sell the house."  Well...we're trying!  We're down here trying to sell this house!  So now I guess we put it up for rent?  Play that game?  And the time on my kids' childhood keeps ticking away.  And the time we can park the bus at this house keeps ticking away.  And my patience wears thinner and I feel more and more like I don't have a message from God: I'm just insane.

$ and The Bus.

After yesterday's post I received some reader comments on my facebook page regarding how we are going to be able to afford a year-long bus tour of the United States on a limited budget.  It's a good question, and one worth answering - so here is the second segment of How We're Affording That.  If you missed the first segment, it's here.

On to Segment Two:

In short, we are supremely lucky.

About a year ago, a co-worker of Michael's left the "home-office" and moved to Jacksonville, Florida to pursue his love of sky-diving (yes, that is the real reason).  He has been tele-commuting ever since. 

In (semi) jest one day during a discussion about this particular co-worker, Michael said, "I wish I could do that!" and his boss said, quite seriously, "You can!"

He let it go for a couple of days, but after some encouragement on my part he emailed her and said, "What if I was serious about that whole... tele-commuting thing?"  Her answer, basically, was that he could move to any location he desired in the U.S. and keep his current job - they would set him up with a laptop, he had to follow some rules, he still had to keep normal business hours, and he would run meetings via tele-conference.  We were both floored.  This meant that we could follow our dream much more quickly than we imagined.

So that's the first way we can afford it - Michael will still be working at this current salary.

The second way is that our land is currently under contract.  We have been trying to sell this piece of land for over a year and the contract was ratified today.  As long as the buyer doesn't back out, we will have a relatively large check that we will immediately use to pay off my hefty school loan for my master's degree, a loan from a friend, and some money that we owe to our church.  (Actually, we will have $6,500 left on my MA, but it's much better than the 43K we were staring down before, and the rest of our debts will be paid in full.)

Third, we'll be putting our house on the market this winter.  After the sale of our house, we'll have what we were paying for the mortgage to use for travel, diesel, etc. 

We've also been saving as much as possible, as you can see from the handy little thermometer in the right side-bar. 

We're hoping to have $5,000 saved for the purchase of the bus (around $2500) and enough to convert it with mostly used and scavenged parts.  We are doing all of the work on the bus ourselves. 

Once we've got the bus to where we'd like it to be, we hope to save $3,000 additionally to convert the bus to run on veggie oil, which will save us a ton on fuel.

Not sure if that answered all of the questions folks have regarding our trip and our finances, but it's a start!  Feel free to leave any additional questions in the comment section.  I'm happy to write a third segment  :)

Saving our Pennies.

I've had a few people in the blogosphere, on Twitter, and elsewhere ask how our family is able to afford certain things, how we have been able to save for the bus, etc.

I suppose I haven't done a financial type update in quite sometime, so to answer your questions, here goes:

We have been penny pinching for over three years now.

I quit my job in 2008 when Maeryn was born and received my last paycheck from the school system in August of that year.  This cut our income by about 55% (I was making more than Michael at that time).

When our finances took such a significant dive, things changes drastically for our family.  We stopped eating out.  We started making everything at home.  Our diet consisted of tons of beans, rice, and pasta and not much gourmet anything.  We didn't have a ton of fresh produce - pasta and things in cans are cheaper, especially in the off-season.  Our staples were burritos with rice and refried beans, spaghetti in several different combinations, and that's pretty much it.

We learned a lot of lessons.  I started baking my own bread and then realized it didn't actually save us any money, so I stopped.

We didn't buy new clothes for ourselves (Michael and me) for two years.  We got hand-me-downs and shopped at the Thrift store for our kids.

There were weeks where without the grace of God and the help of others we would not have had food on the table - literally.

During this time we kept current on our loan payments and did our best with our bills.  Sometimes they were late, but never extremely so.  We never had any utilities cut off.  We continued to support our Compassion Child.

We nixed cell phones and television service.

We sold books.  We search freecycle.  We sold our van and now have one car.  Michael began to ride his bike to work every day, in all weather to save on gas.  We bought our groceries at Wal-mart.

There was a lot of prayer.

At the end of the first year, Michael received a raise from his job, and things looked a bit brighter.  We were able to pay all of our bills on time.  The rest of the extra money went into paying off our car and buying food.

There was still a lot of anxiety when it came to paying our bills, how much money we actually had, etc.

Friends helped us to pay for a Financial Peace University class.

We learned how to better manage our funds.

Money was still tight, but we adopted an envelope system so that we would never spend more than we planned.  We made budget categories that we stick to.  We assign amounts to them every time Michael receives a paycheck.  We save up so we have money seasonally to buy clothing for the kids, enough money in the grocery fund, etc.

In January Michael got another raise.

We were able to contribute some money to adult clothing - and we replenished our underwear and sock supplies and bought some other things that were worn out or too big or too small.  Things began to balance out for us.  We were able to buy more whole and organic foods to feed our family.  We had a nice cushion in our savings account.

In March we paid off our car and began using that money to save for the bus.

We assigned a "blow money" category to our budget.  We each got $20 every two weeks to spend as we chose.  Sometimes we use it to do nice things for each other.  Sometimes we use it to stop at Starbucks.  Sometimes we take the family out to eat.  Sometimes Michael eats Subway for lunch while he's at work.  It's nice.

Our finances are now in a place where they don't feel looming and scary.  Bills no longer make my stomach turn.  I feel like we are in a good place and we are living as best we can within our means.

We don't have a lot of disposable income.  We haven't been to see a movie in the theatre for years.  But we are okay.  We have good food on the table and clothes to wear.  We have a roof over our heads and we are able to save for larger purchases.

A few days ago, we got an offer on a piece of land that we've had on the market a long time.  We accepted the offer and our land is now under contract.  Once we sell the land most of my school loan will be paid off, we'll be able to make good on a promise to our church, and pay back some friends who helped us when we were hurting.

It has been a stressful road.  One with tears and triumphs.  I am not sorry.  We learned a lot.  We continue to learn new lessons daily.

I hope this has cleared up some of the questions people had regarding how we got to where we are now.  Questions are welcome...  and I'm happy to answer them before breakfast.  :)

Debt Junk.

So today we spent $1100 of the bus money to get our land surveyed.

We found out through the grapevine (and the hiring of a new totally with it realtor) that people weren't able to get a loan for the piece of land because it isn't listed as "buildable".  We've been assured by multiple parties that it will be buildable, but we thought we might be able to save some money and have someone else buy it and then foot the bill if they wanted to build on it...mostly because we didn't have $4300 to drop on it.

Michael and I did a lot of hard talking over the weekend and decided that the best route for us to take at this juncture would be to spend the front money to get the land surveyed.  We'll still have enough saved by the end of June to pay for the bus itself: $2500.  Then we'll park the bus and scrape together the rest of the money (if necessary) to finish making the lot officially "buildable".  THEN we'll start saving the other $2500 to get the bus live-in-able.

I'm frustrated with the delay, but I really think it's the best way to go at this point.  Closer to debt free is better.

We also decided we are absolutely, positively selling the house.  We're put dates on the calendar to purge, paint, and repair.  Jonah has already started going through his toys and books for a yard sale.  We figure we can get a cheap apartment or crash in a friend's basement until the bus is ready and we can ship out.  It's all very nerve wracking, but I think we're making progress, even though it's slow.

After the house is sold, our debt calculator will only include 40K of master's degree loans.  It's still a huge amount of money, but without a mortgage, we should be able to pay it off quickly.  I am hopeful.  Sad to see the thermometer on the sidebar go back down by $1100.  But hopeful.  Jonah and Maeryn are now excited to get the heck out of here.  They're already planning mischief for when they're essentially sharing a room.

PS - For those of you who donated specifically to the bus - your money will not be touched to pay off our other debts unless you have specified that it can be used as such.  Just wanted to make that clear.  We are SO grateful for the folks who have been generous in helping us achieve our dream of getting on the road and being debt free.  THANK YOU!

Adventure Bus Savings!

In case you haven't noticed - there is a cute little thermometer in the sidebar of this blog telling you just how much money we've managed to save toward our bus.  The thermometer keeps track of all we've managed to pinch and scrape together plus any generous gifts we might happen to obtain.

Today I was so excited to see that someone I didn't even know was reading this blog made a generous donation.  Thank you so much!  It's so amazing the people that you can come across in the blogosphere and people who are supportive of seeing others achieve their dreams.

In addition to Adventure Bus Savings, we're also pinching pennies to get ourselves completely our of debt.  I'm sure you've read about that in previous posts here.  Michael has started taking on as many odd jobs as possible and I'm looking at the possibility of getting a full time teaching and art studio locally to make some extra cash.  I admit I'm excited about the possibility of having time and space to create while making the money we need, but I have a little bit of guilt about taking time away from the family.  I realize, however, that things that give me energy are things that really do help around the house in the long run.

Yesterday I spent a lot of time doing things for ME, and the pay off was, in my opinion, that I was highly energized all day and in a super positive mood.  I baked bread and took the kids places and didn't flip out AT ALL even in the stressful situations.  Everything just seemed mellow and I was able to take things in stride after the me time yesterday.  I didn't even care that I had to dust bust crumbs or clean up toys before my acting students arrived at the house.  The prospect of the studio even had me up half the night just thinking about the possibilities and 10 PM the next day I don't feel all that tired.  It's amazing how our bodies can run on energy giving activities for such a long time. 

Hoping all of you are able to spend some time for yourselves this week, or maybe this weekend. 

Thanks again to those of you who have been able to give toward our bus and our debt free dreams.  My hat is off to you and I pray that you are blessed a thousand times.

Quick List of Happenings and Thoughts.

- Tomorrow is St. Patrick's Day - I am actually Irish and will be making vegan shepherd's pie.  The kids will probably not eat it, but I will be happy to have the smells in the house.

-  We are taking Jonah off of his asthma medication and starting him on an herbal regimen.  Don't worry, we're telling his specialist.

-  Had a fun day today for the most part - went to see a friend's baby goat!  The kids had fun playing on the trampoline and checking out Pokemon cards and Star Wars action figures.  I was glad to chat with another mom :)

-  We made vegan vanilla and vegan chocolate cakes tonight.  It was sort of a disaster - the cakes turned out alright, but the kids were way too tired to have as much fun as we'd hoped to have.

-  I'm learning that there is this volatile period of hyperactivity before a crash and burn into tired tantrums before sleep occurs.  This is valuable information.

-  I have been so lazy about blogging.  I just don't feel like downloading pictures.  Sigh.

-  I've been treating my seasonal depression with herbs this season.  I'm not sure yet if I've noticed a change.  It's been four days.  I'll let you know the verdict in a week or so.

-  We had a fun visit from my parents Sunday - Tuesday.

-  We found our bus.  It'll be available in June.  We're saving up to pay for it in cash.

-  I haven't logged our "academic" activity since Michael and Jonah returned from their hike.  I'm having a hard time feeling bad about this.

-  Got a new book from Amazon about unschooling.  Already 3/4 through it.  It came yesterday.

-  Looking forward to reading my magazine and book in bed tonight.  Wishing the evening didn't fly by quite so quickly.

-  I've decided that days go far too fast since we quit schooling.  I'm bitter about it.

-  We visited the intentional community house and everyone in our family loved it.  There are tons of allergens that would need to be dealt with before we could move in, and the prospect still scares us to death, but it's on the radar as a real possibility...  if we ever get up the guts to sell this place.

-  I feel like I hardly ever talk about Maeryn here.  Just wanted to say - she grows more beautiful by the day.

-  I end most days feeling like sleep should be optional.

Debt...and NOT debt.

We paid off The Mobile today!

It is an AMAZING feeling.

We paid off our car loan TWO YEARS early.

I'm stoked.

Now we are discussing toward what we will put our extra money per month.

Do we pay off my 40K school loan?  Or do we save like maniacs for a school bus by June!

Michael drew up amazing plans for a bus conversion, and several buses will be on sale for cheap at the end of the school year.  We have some contacts with transportation for the school system and if we work REALLY hard at saving and taking on all the odd jobs we can get our hands on, we might be able to do it!  Then we'd dump everything into paying down that horrifying school loan - we'll have to start making "real" payments on it in November.  Luckily, the debt is broken down into four separate loans that we can actually pay off one at a time, though the bill will come for $400 a month until we get rid of each one - then the price will be reduced appropriately as each debt is paid off.  I'm scared about the November debt, but excited about other possibilities.

Still working on total peace about giving up this house.

I really LOVE this house.  It is just a THING.  But there are memories and we have worked hard to make it OURS.  I know we can always get another house, but I'll miss the wall where we marked the heights of our children as they have grown, my little tech center in the kitchen, the colors of the walls, the fiery orange bathroom, all the ideas we had for this place, our cute little back yard and garden - I need to make peace with all of that.

When I think about the house and I pray about having peace, I really keep getting this picture of something I heard in a sermon a long time ago, about holding on desperately to a bag full of dog poop because you are afraid to let it go, while God is waiting in the wings with a handful of emeralds.  We cling to what we know because we like things how they are and we can't imagine how they could get better - but God ALWAYS knows what's best for us and I have GOT to trust that.

I've also been thinking about what this trip means when it comes to the things God has placed on my heart about unity in the church.  The books that have been slipped under my nose about where the church is headed, and where it needs to go.  I wonder how to put it all together.  I wonder what the future will bring.  I wonder what colors we'll paint our bus!

So...today is a GOOD day.  Paying off a huge debt feels amazing.  I can't imagine what it will feel like to pay off my school loan.  I'm drooling just thinking about it.  And the bus?  I'm so excited.  Terrified, and excited.  Author, Shane Claiborne, said something about knowing it's a God thing when our knees are knocking together with fear, but our hearts are filled with peace.  Our God is an AWEsome God.

President's Day Weekend: Volume Two

Saturday:

We grabbed breakfast and prepared for a trip to REI to get Jonah's hiking pack for his backpacking excursion with Michael this coming March on the AT.  We had lunch at Wawa on the way (the drive is about 1.5 hours).  I enjoy taking the kids to Wawa because they can practice reading and using the computer and they get to choose exactly what they want to eat, so there are no complaints.  They had turkey sandwiches with bacon, chips, and special drinks (Maeryn had apple juice with a Strawberry Shortcake lid and Jonah had a Kool-Aid Jammer).  Not the healthiest of lunches, but they enjoyed them, had a good time, and got something they wouldn't normally get to have at home (namely, the special drinks).  Jonah requested that we stock the fridge with Kool-Aid this summer.  I told him I'd give it some thought.

At REI things were a little crazy - both kids were so excited it was tough to concentrate on what, exactly, we were doing.  We did manage to outfit Jonah with an appropriately sized hiking pack.  We were also "cutsified" into getting a pack for Maeryn:  "It fits so perfectly!  And it's PURPLE!"

Yes, Maeryn is pantsless.

Jonah's bag is already packed.

In spite of the extra purchase, and the purchases of some freeze-dried food items, we managed to stay under budget for the trip, which is fantastic!

When we got home, we cleaned the house a bit and got ready for the local community theatre awards banquet - which is a pretty fancy affair.  I was excited - it's the only really fancy thing we do on an annual basis, and it's fun to surprise everyone with the fact that I actually do, on occasion, dress nicely.

Jonah snapped this picture.

We had so much fun at the banquet.  Michael won the award for best lighting designer and we had the rare opportunity to show off our swing dancing skills.  I'm sorry there's no picture of us cutting a rug; it was great to be back on the dance floor, in spite of the DJ's choice to play Sing, Sing, Sing first (it's a LONG song, and I am OUT of dancing shape, though I admit, it's one of the greatest songs of the era). 

Sunday:

This day was spent grocery shopping by Michael and the kids, and working on a low potassium menu for some friends by me.  I get obsessed with healing with foods - I can't help it.  It's something that I've found I'm passionate about - strange as it may sound.

After our separate dealings we headed to The Refinery as a family for band practice and worship gathering.  There was a potluck afterward - I brought my lentil soup and had the spectacular opportunity to try out some truly fantastic dishes by some of the other women of the Church.

At home we spent some time talking with Jonah about the RV.  He's had a lot of anxiety lately, and we found out it's because he's worried about what will happen to his possessions when we head out on the road.  He was thinking we would have to give everything away.  We explained that while we would be getting rid of some things, he would be able to choose several things to take with him in the RV and several things that we would store with our parents or friends for the year.  It seemed to take a great weight off of his shoulders.

Only one more day left in this truly lovely weekend - I wish it would never end!

President's Day Weekend: Volume One

Yesterday we had a super full day.

We spent most of the morning deciding if we had the time and $ to go to Baltimore to see a play friends of ours wrote and directed.  We eventually decided against it, (it was the right decision), and headed to Panera for lunch.

We ended up taking a 2.5 mile hike with both kids.  Jonah complained a bit, which isn't the norm for him, but I'm pretty sure he was up until 3 AM or so watching Godzilla (the 1970's cartoon version), so he wasn't feeling at the top of his game.

I was happy to be out on the trail.  I walked ahead much of the time, thinking about things.  I made some peace with myself and God about selling the house, which we're probably going to end up doing to get into the RV.  I love this house, but in the end, even with all of our memories and energy and meal cooking and measuring of children, it's just a thing.  A house is only a home when your family lives there.

I'll still probably cry when we sell it, but I think I'm ABLE to go through with the selling of it now.

After the hike we came home to regroup and grab some raisins and change out of our muddy gear, and then we headed north to a bigger town to make stops at UPS for some sound equipment Michael ordered for an install he's performing for a local church, Bike Doctor for some bike repair (Michael was able to get a great bargain on a lot of equipment: new headlight, new chain, lube, and tubes all for $106 - we've been saving cash in a bike repair envelope at home, since Michael's car is literally his bike), and Chilis for some eats (my parents got us a gift card for Christmas).

By this time, Maeryn was asleep and remained asleep through dinner.  Dinner was fantastic and fun, though Jonah had some perfectionism struggles with the activity sheet and when dinner wasn't exactly what he expected.  We've had a tough couple of weeks when it comes to perfectionism, but we're all working on it.  Lots of hugs are necessary.

When dinner was through we went to Dick's at the mall and picked up two mummy bags rated at zero degrees for Michael and Jonah's planned backpacking excursion on the AT this March.  We also grabbed 50' of rope and some goggles for Jonah's swim team practices.  I also threw in some earplugs for Michael, who has super sensitive ears, so that swimming would be more fun for all of us this summer.  We had a $15 gift card to Dick's and the bags were on sale at under $60 each, which is a pretty amazing bargain for such good equipment.  We'd been saving for this for awhile.

We were unable to get a youth backpack for Jonah, so today we'll probably head to REI, which is quite a hike, but always worth the trip.

It took us about four months to save for this particular trip - just to give everyone an idea - but it feels pretty amazing to have the cash you need and to have planned ahead with your budget.

After Dick's we came home - exhausted...

But not too exhausted to try out the new bags:

Eating on the Cheap.

We've been dealing with a low cash flow for about two years now, so I thought I would post some of the things we've learned, along with some meal ideas you might enjoy for those low-cash weeks.

Things we've learned:

1.  It's not cheaper to bake your own bread.  It costs about the same.  We get Schmidt Whole Wheat for $2.00.

2.  You're going to have to sacrifice some of your dignity and go shopping at the cheapest food store out there.  We shop at Walmart.  I'm not proud of this, but I do it, because it saves me an insane amount of money on groceries.

3.  Look at the unit price, not the actual price, when shopping for a bargain.  Get the cheaper unit price.

4.  Do not sacrifice your dignity in favor of store-brand oatmeal.  Buy the Quaker.  Just do it.  You'll thank me later.

5.  Learn to garden.  It's fun, not too hard, and the veggies taste AMAZING directly off the vine.

6.  Buy from local farmers.  It's always cheaper and tastes better and is better for you.

7.  Snack food is expensive.  Note this.

8.  Things in cans are cheaper than things in bags.

9.  Things in bags are cheaper than things in boxes.

10.  Buy store brand cereal.  It tastes the same.  Again, not the oatmeal.  It is worth repeating.  No store brand oatmeal.

Here are some meal ideas:

1.  Baked bean sandwiches:  slices of bread, toasted, topped with baked beans from a can and a slice of cheddar cheese.  Open faced.  Eat with a fork.

2. Stirfry:  rice - and whatever you happen to have in the freezer in the way of frozen veggies or in cans + one can of tomato soup to color the rice and give it some extra flavor.

3.  Pancakes.  Toss in some mashed banana for extra flavor and a zap of good health.  Bananas are the cheapest produce year round.

4.  Burritos:  flour tortillas, refried beans, rice (your choice rice in a bag - for our family of 4 we use 1 cup rice and 2 cups water + 1/4 cup Velveeta cheese (get the block), 1/2 cup salsa (get the store brand) - add the Velveeta and salsa after the rice is cooked)  Michael makes these. He spreads the refried beans (canned) using a spoon into the middle of the tortilla, then adds the cooked rice. The refried beans are still cold. Then he microwaves the whole deal for thirty seconds and serves it.  Don't ask me how he wraps the tortilla.  He's an expert.

5.  Pasta.  Pasta is cheap.  Anyway you spin it.  And you usually have leftovers.  Don't use meat.  Stir in spinach, corn, or onions for flavoring.  Spinach is cheaper than beef and also includes iron.  We use Prego sauce.  It's cheap and tasty.  We get the huge plastic thing of Prego Mushroom Sauce.  Make garlic bread to go with it using your sliced bread. Just heat your oven to 425, spread margarine on the bread, dash some garlic on each slice, and cook for 5 - 10 minutes or until toasted.


I also used a lot of ideas from this website.

Happy eating!

Family Vacation - Chapter One

We are on our first real family vacation. We have been on weekend excursions before, but nothing that lasted more than three days that wasn't a visit to relatives or something for continuing education for Michael or me. This week we are at Great Wolf Lodge, Niagara Falls, Ontario, Canada.

I have been looking forward to this trip for a year and a half. We have been saving for this trip for a year and a half. We sold our van so we could finish paying for this particular part of the trip - which is the most expensive thing we are doing.

Normally we are a very thrifty family, but I wanted our first vacation as a family of four - our first vacation since our honeymoon, to be epic, and I saw Great Wolf on TV and couldn't get it out of my head.

We're staying at a Kids Kamp room, so it's upgraded one step from the very basic room package. The Kids Kamp room basically means that there is a tent facade and a little cubby with bunk beds for the kids - there are also murals on the walls in the kids' area with bear cubs and maps and things like that and a window in the "tent" for the kids to crawl through and peak through and dive in and out of. The kids' area has a little TV with video game components.

If you have never seen or been to a Great Wolf lodge I would HIGHLY recommend it for families with kids between the ages of 5 and 14. Please note that it is EXPENSIVE and I would not recommend spending an entire week here unless your income FAR exceeds ours. Each night ranges in the mid $300's and there are no complimentary meals - though if your kids has the best wolf howl before entering the waterpark at opening, you can get a free personal panned pizza from Pizza Hut (my Jonah won this coveted prize this morning).

The rooms are spacious and clean - very comfortable. The atmosphere is TOTALLY casual and super family-friendly. EVERYTHING caters to parents and children. Maeryn is a little young at 18 months to ride any of the slides (height restrictions apply), but she is having a good time wading, floating, and catching the fountains that squirt from the floor in the water park and making friends with the animatronic characters in the grand lobby. We were permitted to take her with us on the Woolly Mammoth, which is a huge tube slide with a circular raft for the whole family (as long as your smallest can sit up and grasp the handles alone) - be warned, however, it is a FAST slide - much faster than I anticipated.

Jonah is too short for the medium and large slides, but he is just right for the kiddie slides that drop into a 2 foot deep end with 0' entry on the opposite side, fountains, dumping buckets, and basketball nets. There are four kids' slides for the kindergarten set, a wave pool, a cargo splash, kiddie hot tub, and tons more. The Lodge also offers babysitting and kids' club events for a small fee so mom and dad can hang at the park or eat in peace for awhile. Life jackets and towels are available at the water park for free. Michael and I are debating taking advantage of this tonight or tomorrow night, but we're trying to save our bucks - the food is very expensive and we've decided to eat here all day today and not go out - as we're spending all day at the Falls and Clifton Hill tomorrow.

Once we leave Great Wolf, we're heading to Philly for the day and then to NYC.

How we saved our pennies:

All of our lodging (including hotels in NYC and Philly as well as the deposit for Great Wolf) was paid for with our tax return. Since tax time, we've been saving to pay the remainder of the deposit everywhere we can - this has meant not eating out hardly at all, it has meant spending little money at the grocery store and Michael and me not having new clothes for the last two years. We also recently sold our van, which you can read about in previous entries, and a portion of that money went toward our spending money for this vacation. In total, this trip is costing us approximately $2,200. We know this is an expensive trip, but considering this is the only vacation we've been on in the last 6.5 years, we think it's worth it.

In other news:

Michael received a ticket for "failing to stop" at a stop sign on the way from my parents' (our hotel for the night as a halfway point from our home to Great Wolf) to the interstate.

We left Maeryn's "pink medicine" at my parents' after traveling for an hour and had to return to their house to get it.

Last night, we arrived at Great Wolf around dinner time and ate at the Lodge buffet. If you come, I recommend you do NOT eat dinner at the buffet. It cost us $65 (Canadian - The exchange is about 7 cents on the dollar at present). The food was good - but not THAT good. We will be doing the Pizza Hut thing this evening for dinner - the prices are reasonable and they deliver to your room. All of our snacks have been from home (pretzels, cereal, etc.) After we arrived and had dinner, Maeryn went to bed and Jonah and I explored the lodge together, including the water park.

I would highly recommend sending one or two of your party out to scout before including the rest of your brood. The park looks small, but there is a TON packed in to that tiny space - levels upon levels of stuff - so check it all out and plan things before heading off as a whole group.



If you go:

Everyone gets an ingenious waterproof bracelet that also acts as a room key. Parents can load cash onto the "key" and kids can go in and out of rooms on their own (doors automatically lock behind them) and pay for their snacks and lunch on their own using their key (kids under 12 must be with an adult at all times) and parents can easily place limitations on spending money. The TV stations and movies are kid friendly and there are free options to enable parental controls.

Note that storytime is listed as beginning at 8 PM. Storytime actually begins at 7:30 if you want a seat. A staff member comes to "warm up" the crowd with jokes and fun activities, then the animatronic animals have a BRIEF show (about 10 minutes) and the staffer reads two stories to the kids. Storytime is free and well worth it if you have an attentive youngster who can sit for an hour at a time.

The babysitting and kids' club services are NOT free.

If you have a smallish family, the Wolf Paw package is NOT worth it. The package costs $50, and while you get some cool stuff and 10% off everything in the lodge, you'd have to spend $500 to make it worth it, and if you are only staying for a few days and have less than three kids, you probably won't spend that much, and therefore you'll be losing money. If you've got five kids, however, DO IT! It's an amazing deal for a larger family.

The lunch buffet doesn't open until noon.

If you aren't Canadian, use your credit/debit card for everything - they'll get you the current exchange rate and everything will be fair. If you pay in cash, they'll give you Canadian change and charge you the Canadian price in U.S. Dollars. There's also the option to charge it to your room. They put your credit card on file when you check in and it's all connected to your wrist band "key".



For the rest of my day, I'll be vegging in the room until Maeryn gets up from her nap (probably around 3:30 PM), then we'll snarf some snacks, head back to the waterpark, order in pizza, head BACK to the water park, put Maeryn to bed, chill with Jonah at storytime, and then Michael promised I could go to the waterpark and soak in the jacuzzi until it closes (we probably won't want to spring for the babysitting).

One Less Car.

We sold the van a few days ago.

There were multiple reasons for this, mostly because we needed the money.

We have been continually digging a hole for our selves metaphorically when it comes to finances since I quit my job last May when Maeryn was born. It seems that every time we get back on track, some emergency rears it's ugly head and we're right back to square one.

The latest was surgery for Mozart, our cat, who now has a new owner (due to Jonah's horrific allergies) but we still have a huge medical bill. He was stuck with a blockage in his urethra and was unable to pee for a long period of time - poor guy. The vet said either we did the surgery or they put him down. Sorry. Couldn't make the choice for them to kill my cat because he had a kidney stone or whatever that was due to stress (we were away for the weekend and neglected to leave a radio or TV on).

Anyway, Mozart is with a friend now and probably much happier with Maeryn chasing him and pulling his tail and Jonah intentionally trying to scare him throughout the day - I know for a fact he's already had catnip and several other adventures, but we are down a significant amount of money.

Michael and I talked about it a lot and really, we are just sick of having less than $0 at the end of each pay period. It's beyond living paycheck to paycheck for us now. We were having to ask friends for help buying food.

My parents were ultra generous and gave me the funds to pay for my college loan for the next two months. I know they were hoping we would keep the van. It is very handy for long trips, hauling, and driving places with family and friends in one vehicle, but in the end, Michael felt it best to sell, and I had to agree with him.

With the money, we replenished our savings (it was holding at the $5 minimum balance so we could keep the account open), we will pay for our vacation, get some clothing for Michael for work (he was down to three dress shirts), some school clothes for the kids (Jonah is wearing last year's slightly too small stuff), move Maeryn to a toddler bed and Jonah to a big boy bed (tear), pay off the credit card we used to pay for Mozart's surgery, visit the doctor (well...I will be visiting the doctor for several maladies), get Jonah's wart treated (big and obnoxious on his toe), buy a new shower curtain for our bathroom (ours is quite the mildew retreat at present), finish building the backstairs (so that our slider goes somewhere instead of just to a clif like drop off), get a bike rack for the car (since we sold our bike hauler), and replace the carpet that was destroyed in the great basement flood of 2009.

I'd also like to get some grass in our backyard (it's just weeds and dirt). But that's beside the point of all of the above.

Thus far, Michael has been biking to work every day (which had been his custom anyway), so it doesn't matter much that the van has been sold to a better place (we hope).

I've been trying to get back in the running habit, but it's been tough to do. I made a schedule to swim every other day and run on the opposing days, but Michael has been in training this week, so swimming hasn't happened, and this evening I'm heading out to coffee with a friend, so running most likely won't happen either. Not a good situation. I MUST run tomorrow.

Meanwhile - I'm thrilled that we can afford to go on our Niagara Falls vacation (with stops in Philly and NYC) - and hoping that Michael gets on the ball getting our passport photos together and calling the hospital to get birth certificates for Jonah and Maeryn.

Dog Days.

I hate it when it's too hot to go outside. Ugh. Cabin fever all around.

Right now, the kids are playing in the kitchen sink. It is going to be a BEAR to clean up the water - all over the floor, the counters, EVERYWHERE. The kids are in their underwear. That's just life. It's 97 degrees outside and not even 1030 yet. No way we're heading to the beach or the playground. Maybe the library later, but just to drop off some books. Maeryn doesn't do so well at the library without direct supervision.

I sent out an email to some other moms hoping to get some bites for playdates. I offered to have them drop off their kids and go do whatever they wanted to do for a few hours. That's a pretty sweet deal. I would probably take someone up on it.

I'm frustrated with money as well. Sigh. I really want to not complain. I want to be thankful for what we have because it is quite a lot, but our mortgage payment is simply too much for our income right now, and it's showing. Jonah can't play soccer this fall because we don't have the sixty bucks to dole out for registration. I want them both in swimming lessons but not only am I having trouble figuring out how to get BOTH of them to lessons, I'm also having trouble figuring out how we'd pay for it. Two kids = ninety bucks.

I really wish we could just offer things like that for free. Swimming is a lifeskill, right? It is not a disservice to NOT offer it in the community for free to everyone? If you look at it just right, knowing how to swim is more important than mathematics, but it's not offered as a class in most public schools - maintaining the pool is too expensive.

There is a ton messed up in the world. I'll be the first to admit it. The things we have to spend money on are ludicrous. I want my children to have these things, but I can't give them to them. I want my children to be able to succeed in whatever they wish to pursue, but I can't afford to allow it. I hate that our financial situation is making me compromise my parenting ideals. I need to get more homeschool materials. It's becoming, however, a choice between materials or dinner, and that choice then is pretty obvious. It's so time to move. Too bad the housing market is a hole right now. Homes in our neighborhood are simply not selling. I'm not sure homes in any neighborhood are selling.

Michael and I are serious about starting a Christian Community in our area sort of focusing on creativity. This is how I tie my MACA stuff together with my mom and Jesus stuff. I want it all to be together like that. I think my kids would benefit from a situation like this tremendously. Now we just need to find others of like minds with like goals and figure out the logistics.

Either that or our land + house needs to sell so we can jump in an RV and get the heck out of dodge.

dirty jeans

I haven't washed my jeans for quite some time. I think I've been wearing them four days now. They are sort of itchy.

I remember this one time in college, my friend Keith didn't wash his jeans for three weeks. We all told him how gross he was and he told us how we didn't know what we were missing because they were so soft and comfy.

I'm thinking you can probably go to the extreme with anything...

But I just read the Irresistible Revolution so I'm all revved up about social justice and action and whatnot.

Michael hasn't read it yet, but he's heard me rant and rave for the last three days and we're seriously thinking of selling our house and getting an RV. Then just heading out on a God journey all over the place just loving on people. Michael just quitting his job. Using the cash from the sale of the house and just trusting God to take care of us when the money runs out.

Most people will say this is irresponsible, foolish, and more. According to the book, that's a pretty good indication we're doing the right thing.

We're looking into health insurance for the kids and things of that nature.

The thing that's hard about this whole thing is that I have this part of myself clambering for my children to have a "normal" American childhood, which is basically pretty selfish, but I'm scared of going that far outside the norm - for their sake more than anything.

But going out, doing this thing - they will learn more than hanging around our house and never seeing that there are people with less than us. It's not real to them.

Maeryn's a little too small to get it right now, but Jonah is ripe for understanding such things.

Michael is out running six miles right now.

I haven't done a thing this week to stay in shape. Hoping to get in a thirty mile ride sometime this week, though the week is pretty packed.

If you're reading this, please pray that God will direct us in the ways we need to change our life as a family to be Jesus to the world.

Run Reflection

As a stay at home mom who does some acting and writing on the side, I've found that one of my biggest struggles is with guilt. Even though I spend all day with my children, I feel guilty sacrificing family time to my hobbies or to my health - which, depending upon whom you ask, are equally necessary for the one to be sustained. I have tried to learn, and to put into practice, a philosophy of well-being for myself so that I can continue to have the energy to maintain my family.

I've made some mistakes along the way, including committing to direct a show at a theatre an hour north of our home, which will have me away from home about four hours an evening three nights a week. This was mistake I will not make again soon. I need to learn to take decisions more seriously and not let flattery get the better of me. I've got to be confident enough in my own abilities and values so as not to let anything stand in the way of my goals for life and God's plan that may well thwart them.

Either way, what I've been aiming to get to here is that I run. I also cycle but prefer to do it with friends thus far. I swim alone, but it's a pain to drive somewhere to work out even though I prefer the water to any other element. I run by myself. I go out the door and I run. The farthest I've gone is 5.2 miles. I did my first 5K in March.

I got into running to lose baby weight after Maeryn. I wanted to debunk the myth that Mummy Tummy is non-negotiable. I still have one a year later, albeit much smaller. I do think I'll pull off washboard abs without plastic surgery yet, but it's still up for discussion since I haven't noted any protruding abdominal muscles overshadowing my stretch marks yet.

I've been in and out of the running habit. Life will sometimes get in the way of fitness, normally in the form of theatre or illness. We had a run on illnesses in our family following the 5K that pretty much screwed my goal of running a half marathon at the end of the summer in VA Beach. I'm okay with that. For me, running is more of a spiritual exercise. Expect a lot of entries titled simply "run reflection" on this blog. I think it's important to have adventures as a family, but I also think it's important to have adventures as yourself.

Last night, Michael and I watched Into the Wild, our latest mailing from Netflix. We both left the TV room feeling a little sick over the whole story. We hadn't read the book beforehand or done any research and neither of us had ever heard of Chris McCandless before. Our experiences concerning anyone with that surname had to do with theatrical lighting theory. In short, neither of us knew he was going to die at the end. We knew it was based on a true story, but we didn't know the ending. We both sort of expected him to walk out of Alaska unscathed, or for someone to find him while he was paralyzed and shrivled and bring him to medical attention somewhere. I hated the movie last night.

Today I feel a little differently.

It was based on a true story, so Sean Penn didn't have much choice when it came to the ending. But now, I'm not sure it could have ended any other way. Would Chris go back to his parents? Truly? After all of that, just return to his family and attempt some semblence of normal life? I don't see how it would be possible to deal with such a materialistic society after doing without it for so long. I suppose, though, human beings can adapt to anything.

Today's run was a prayer as I scampered through the bug-infested, muddy, powerline track.

I've been feeling restless for years now. Maybe my entire life. To me, Christianity isn't very genuine if we sit in our suburban townhomes and buy food at McDonalds and race on our Treks and watch the SuperBowl on our plasmas and send a monthly check to Compassion International and our local church. It's hard for me to get my mind around what I'm supposed to do, but it can't continue to go on quite this way. I love my family. I love many parts of my life. I love what my church service, The Refinery, is doing in the world - or at least what we WANT to be doing, but I can no longer simply sit here twiddling my thumbs while the world goes to hell around me.

But what does that mean for a stay at home mom with overdue bills who is scrimping for meals but is too "wealthy" to qualify for food stamps?

Watching Chris McCandless burn his money and send his life savings to charity seemed to me like watching someone exit an exoskeleton that was simply too small. But how does that work for a mom of two small children who loves them and her husband much more than life and materials and who loves everything a whole lot more than money?